12/18/15 - Being alone with my cup of green tea

The past two days I have been alone, J, my lady friend, girlfriend, (who know what terminology to use at this age) has been shopping until she drops and making presents. She is a "tween" person. Between her parents in their late 90's and her four grandchildren (who I love as much as my own ten grandchildren) all of which are within a short driving distance. My grandchildren are spread all over the map and range in age from college to pre-school.

If you are reading this blog, then you probably also wake up alone, in bed, with perhaps nothing planned for the day. Well that's where I am now. My cup of green tea is my companion as I pound on the keyboard. I am in a good space, a quite space. Meditation flute music playing in the living room as I sit in my office. Dinner tonight will be with J's parents and then decorating their tree. J has her tree up but we haven't started decorating it. Me, I put a bow on the front of my truck. I'm a truck kind of person. I have had only trucks for the past 40+ years. No, it's not a macho thing, it just makes sense when you have a cabin and need to haul things around.

As I laid in bed this morning I wondered why I ever started this blog. Was it to share my experiences and help others? Was it therapy for me? Was it to be entertaining with my essays? I suppose it is all of these. I have read other widower's and widow's blogs and have found some interesting and some a recitation of daily events ... opppps, I think that is what I am doing now.

Several blogs, written by those who have written books on grieving, were interesting and I assume have helped others with the grieving process. While I still have my departed wife in my life, I am not grieving. I carry her wedding ring on my key chain so she is with me every day. And J acknowledges my love of/for her. This does not diminish my love for J. The heart can hold much love and love of two women takes up a very small part of it. Of course my heart is also filled with a different kind of love for my family and hers. I thank God that her family is so lovable.

Well now that I have made my brunch, I am off to return my rental movies and swing by the Library to see if I am needed to put away books and stuff.

Coming up next ... perhaps another essay or perhaps more drivel.